I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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