I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize