youre lurking in front of me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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