I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
