oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
