There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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