Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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