So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
