just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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