Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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