Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
