so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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