She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
