Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
