hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
