Who wears a wallet chain?!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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