Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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