Already got asked if we're dating
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
