I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
