Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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