The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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