I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize