I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My balls are so social today.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
