Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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