I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
