My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
