Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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