I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
