dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize