What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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