Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
