HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
