My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
