Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
