ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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