So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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