My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize