people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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