come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
