Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
