so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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