Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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