His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
