no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
