went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
