worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
