She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Congratulations! We have a period
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