What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
