At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
