I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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