Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
