You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
