____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
