I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
handjob tips. give me some.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
