you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
