lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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